D. Richard Tucker, Playwright

Behind an Influential Man  from THUGS:  A Musical Mafiasco 
by Kim Douglass and D. Richard Tucker         Return To THUGS Return To Song List 
featuring Christian doyle, Adam Othman, Julian Schrenzel, and Anna-Marie Devine


VITO and LOUIE approach JOEY.

 

VITO

Excuse me, sir.

 

JOEY

Yes.

 

VITO

My partner and I were observing you and happened to notice that you were alone.

 

JOEY

Is that a problem?

 

VITO

Oh, no, sir, it is just that we thought a distinguished individual like yourself might need

someone to assist him.

 

 

SONG:
BEHIND AN INFLUENTIAL MAN - VITO, LOUIE, JOEY, and GINA

 

VITO             

It is quite common for a gentleman

To have a couple guys to run

His errands and do all his sundry tasks.

Pick up his laundry –

 

LOUIE           

Maybe drive his car

 

VITO             

And answer phone calls –

 

LOUIE           

Buy cigars

 

VITO             

And just be there for anything he asks.

 

VITO and LOUIE     

Behind an influential man You’ll find a gofer

 

LOUIE           

He needs a lackey

 

VITO             

And a yes-man

 

LOUIE           

And a chauffeur.

 

VITO             

To make repairs When something breaks

 

LOUIE           

And take the blame For his mistakes.

 

VITO and LOUIE     

Behind an influential man You’ll find a thug.

 

JOEY

I’m not so sure.

 

VITO

All the big mob bosses have them.

 

LOUIE

And the biggest bosses have two.

 

JOEY exits into Café.

 

VITO

Well, that did not work.

 

Enter GINA

 

LOUIE

How about him?  He looks like a bit of a nance.

 

VITO

            (to GINA)

Excuse me, sir.

 

GINA

Yes?

VITO

My partner and I saw you and just thought a high class fellow like yourself might need

someone to assist him.

 

GINA

Whatta ya mean?

 

VITO             

There are so many things a man like you

Should simply never have to do.

You just might break a sweat or chip a nail.

 

LOUIE           

It’s always good to have a pair of slobs

Someone to do your dirty jobs

And serve your sentence when you go to jail.

 

VITO and LOUIE     

Behind an influential man You’ll find a lackey.

A stooge who’s sure to Take the fall

When things get wacky.

 

VITO             

To make repairs When something breaks

 

LOUIE           

And take the blame For his mistakes.

 

BOTH                        

Behind an influential man You’ll find a thug.

 

GINA

I’ve only got one errand, though.

 

LOUIE

We were hopin’ you would hire us.

 

GINA

Well, I don’t know.

 

JOEY enters and LOUIE runs to meet him.

 

LOUIE           

(to JOEY) 

A pair of thugs make you look classy

All the dames will find you sassy.


            VITO             

(to GINA)

It’s essential for a solid resume.

 

LOUIE           

It will improve your situation

 

VITO             

And project great admiration

 

LOUIE and VITO     

And it just so happens we can start today.

 

LOUIE and VITO escort GINA and JOEY downstage, ensuring they keep their backs to each other.

 

LOUIE and VITO     

Behind an influential man You’ll find a flunkey.

Someone he trusts to Take him home

When he gets drunky,

To make repairs When something breaks

And take the blame For his mistakes.

Behind an influential man You’ll find a thug.

 

GINA and JOEY cross away from each other, still not realizing each other.

 

GINA and JOEY

Well, I suppose….

 

VITO runs to catch JOEY and LOUIE runs to catch GINA

 

VITO and LOUIE     

Behind an influential man You’ll find a wise guy.

A loyal heavy Who would follow Him to Shang-hai

 

VITO escorts JOEY back to center.

 

VITO             

To make repairs When something breaks

 

LOUIE escorts GINA back to center.

 

 

LOUIE           

And take the blame For his mistakes.

 

LOUIE and VITO     

Behind an influential man you’ll find a thug.

 

GINA and JOEY       

Be………….hind…………..an Influential man

 

VITO and LOUIE     

You’ll find a most essential fan.

 

GINA and JOEY

Behind an influential man.

 

VITO and LOUIE     

A guy to manage his demands.

 

GINA and JOEY

Behind an influential man.

 

ALL               

Some one to jump at his command

Behind an influential man you’ll find a thug.

 

Copyright (c)2009 D. Richard Tucker, Playwright & JustHost.com